30 Days No Alcohol Challenge: Days 5 & 6

My favorite player on the Miami Marlins, Giancarlo Stanto! 

 

Scoring Like Stanton!
#StillWinning!

This is an ongoing blog that covers my entire journey on my 30 Days No Alcohol Challenge. Check out Days 1-4 HERE  if you are just tuning in. Enjoy! 

Day 5
August 12, 2016

10:35am --
I woke up from a terribly odd, twisted dream. It was very disturbing. I heard that can happen once you remove alcohol from your diet after a period of regular drinking. I woke so suddenly from the dream that I ended up getting a headache. It really effected my mood. Like something bad was going to happen. I took a few deep breaths, told myself It was just a dream and went to have my Lemon Cayenne water. It helps to bring your body to an alkaline state and aids in metabolism. The cayenne really snaps you awake as well. I had breakfast and soon after I was feeling much better. The one thing that I am noticing is that I am dealing with the not drinking part very well. I haven't even wanted a drink. I haven't had a craving for a drink at all. Not once time so far. What I am dealing with this past few days is a conflict with change. I am a creature of habit. At the end of the day I would normally be cooking dinner with a glass of vino to wind down. Suddenly, I am messing with a ritual, a routine and its strange. Habits are hard to break so I feel annoyed. I am sure I am not alone in feeling that way so I will forgive myself.  I did find that putting sparkling water in a wine glass with frozen fruit is just as amazing and more refreshing. It wasn't the wine so much as the feeling of having something fancy to drink from my long stem while cooking. I have to say that the fruit water is much more aesthetically pleasing, healthy and delicious. All in all, a winning solution.


4:50pm --  About two hours ago I suddenly started feeling really uneasy. I took me a while to figure out why. I am about to go to the Marlins game and I haven't been to a game without drinking....ever! I realized it when I started trying to back out of going to the game, putting it off for tomorrow's game, complaining about the drive to Miami, etc. Once I realized where the anxiety was coming from I shook it off and got myself dressed. I have no idea how I will feel when I get there but I certainly feel nervous which is normally when I would have a glass of wine. I know it's just nerves about going to this game and not having that social beer. I am not worried about being tempted to drink, really. I am just going to have to learn what ELSE you do at a game to fill time. This girl can only talk so much. I am not a huge fan of pointless conversation to fill silence but it seems most people can't enjoy silence as much as I do. I 'm not good at idle chitchat. I am over thinking this. Here goes.

Is Someone You know an "Almost Alcoholic"? Take this Quiz to find out. 

Day 6 - August 13, 2016

9:49am -- I got through the game without even being tempted to drink. My friend offered to not drink if it would bother me. I encouraged him to do what he would normally do at the games. I don't want people to change or adjust for my challenge. It is my personal challenge. I am the one who has committed to adjusting. I was so resolute that I went to the bar with him to look at the beer options and smelled each of them to help him decide which was best. Bartender and alcohol training from when I worked in restaurants came in handy. It was that simple. I just got a fountain drink in a collector's cup and sipped on that the whole game. Having something to hold in my hands and sip on helped a lot. I was worried what my mood or feelings would be watching other people drinking and having fun. I really was over thinking things. If anything I was highly entertained by, annoyed by and embarrassed for a lot of people. It made me think about the times that I have made a colossal ass of myself drinking too much at parties. It was a hard thing to digest. You don't notice how foolish you look when you're drunk until you sober watch the footage the next day, I remember. To each their own. If people are having fun and aren't hurting anyone, more power to them.

     There was one moment where I was so focused on the game and having a conversation about Giancarlo Stanton (he is a pretty, pretty man) and I reached down without looking. I almost grabbed my friend's beer. When I looked down and saw that it was the beer I jumped back and pulled my hand away like it was a snake. I laughed so hard at my reaction. I am so glad nobody else noticed. I told my friend and he laughed with me and said it was awesome and that he was proud of how dedicated I am to this commitment. The bottom line is I had a LOT of fun at the game without the beers or any other alcoholic beverage. I was still very social and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Funny fact: the scent of beer was a turnoff. Beer breath was everywhere and it was so strong. It felt how I feel when people pass by after they just get back from a cigarette break. It just lingers and leaves a stench trail behind them. That is how strong the scent of beer was last night. I am so thankful that people weren't really drinking wine or whiskey around me.  I might have lost control of my dinner.

That's ME with with a Marlin's baseball. I was in the front row!

      As far as my mood last night, I was generally upbeat and fun. I danced and clapped along per usual at the games. I was basically every bit of myself without the drinks.The only difference that I noticed was that I looked around at people a lot more and just observed my surroundings. I noticed things that I rarely ever notice at the games like things on the walls and seats, subliminal advertisements and how the staff operates. My energy would go up and down with the energy of the game immediately. When I had a few drinks at baseball games before I never really noticed the lulls in the game because I would usually just go off on a beer run or another bathroom break. This time I was aware of every play, the players on the field and the little idiosyncracies of the rules of baseball which, God help me, I could never understand with a buzz. I was worried yesterday about how to fill the time that I normally filled with beer. I just asked a crap load of questions about everything I didn't understand. So, I got answers and I only had to listen. My friend is very knowlegeable about sports and loves to talk about it. Win-win! Problem solved. I also noticed I am a lot more shy stone sober. When the cams were showing on the crowds and everybody was doing crazy dances I was like, "I am SO SOBER right now." All in all, I had a ton of fun without needing or even wanting alcohol. Last night was my first night out since I started this challenge and it was my first night ever at a sporting event without drinking. My friend was incredibly supportive. I know a lot of people doing this challenge aren't so lucky. A lot of friends will  either make fun or try to peer pressure a challenger into drinking. I can't imagine why ANYONE would do that but it is common so I am thankful I didn't have to deal with that. I am quite proud of myself and feeling stronger than I thought I would.

Am I An Alcoholic Quiz - Click link to take quiz.

Technically Day 7 - August 14, 2016

1:15am -- Today is supposed to be a boat day, which I have also never done without drinking so my challenge today is figuring out what to do on the boat for a few hours without wine or beer. I guess I will find out! I am thinking I will captain the boat and we will just have to go somewhere new for entertainment versus just cruising and looking at the same mansions again. You have to be creative when changing habits you have had for 10 years! Tedious but exciting! As you can see so far, the hardest thing seems to be reprogramming. I have always wondered what takes drinking from a bad habit to an addition. What is the tipping point? I have read many articles on the matter because I was curious as to how my father lost control and at what point he became a full blown alcoholic. There is alcohol abuse and then there is alcoholism. It seems that the major difference is the degree of physical dependancy. Let's just say that I grew up my whole life with this question on my mind, being told that alcoholism is hereditary. I am very happy to say that I feel great without booze in my bloodstream! The only problem I am dealing with so far is just relearning what it was like to go out and have fun without it being centered around drinking. I never noticed how booze centric this society really is until the first time I went on alcohol hiatus for a year. The only place I could go and be around other fun people without alcohol being involved was church. I will be working on ways to change that.  Maybe I will start a fun outings group in the area. It's really late so I will just have to ponder that one for a while.  Until we meet again...

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Sites to read about alcohol abuse/alcoholism:

 https://www.addiction.com/473/differences-alcohol-abuse-alcoholism/
http://www.alternet.org/it-habit-or-addiction-what-happens-your-brain-when-you-start-get-hooked